Money, Money, Money!

I did a really foolish thing today!!! I balanced my checkbook. I never do that and for some reason I felt like I should. Why in the world would I follow my feelings!? I very seldom follow feelings that could be detrimental to my mental health!

So money has always been a mystery to me. It always seems like you either have enough or you don't! I pay the same bills, buy the same groceries, pay the same taxes and still every month ends up differently. So I talked to my sister Karen who is really good at managing money and she gave me some great ideas. One of her ideas is to get $400-$500 dollars worth of items every six months at the case lot sales to cut back on my monthly food bill. I thought this was an excellent idea and I can't for the life of me figure out why I didn't think of it myself! I lucked out because the case lot sales are going on this month.

I know that money is a good thing when I use it wisely but O what a headache when I don't!

Maybe when my rich uncle Thadeus Monopolis passes on to the next life he will leave me his fortune!!! O wait! I don't have an uncle Thadeus Monopolis!

I guess I will just have to hitch a ride with Karen and hit the case lot sales!

Good luck to all you money bags out there today!!!

Leesey Lou

Cleaning House

My house is never clean! I clean and clean and then clean some more but it just simply will not stay that way! The dishes are done for now, there is always a load of clothes in the washing machine, I swear I just took the garbage out 5 minutes ago, and sweeping the kitchen floor.....!

I get really crazy about my house looking like a tornado hit. Then I stop and think, "Would I change anything about the reasons my microwave is covered in an explosion of left over spaghetti sauce?" No I would not! I love my family and I am glad they have a place to be away from the insanity of the world. So does it really benefit anyone if their place of refuge has an insane woman running around yelling at them to pick up their "stuff"? Again NO!

I do believe that a family should make a concerted effort to keep their surroundings livable and even nice enough for the occasional visitor, but it is definitely not worth panic attacks or feeding the obsessive compulsive monster that rears its ugly head every now and then.

So I think I will kiss my kids when they get home from school and from football practice, ask about their day and then send them off to pick up their bedrooms.

Leesey Lou

Football vs. Reality

Two of my sons play high school football. We love football season at our house. There is an excitement in the air knowing that at least once a week we will experience the cool fall breeze interrupted only by the sound of crushing blows as helmet meets helmet, shoulder pads collide, and hundreds of pounds of human flesh crash to the ground. It's a beautiful thing.

Last Friday night my son Braden was enjoying one of these precious moments when he was hit hard from the side right in the helmet by one of the opposing team and was knocked unconscious. I have to admit it was very difficult for me not to run down onto the field.

There is an unwritten rule that mothers of football players are never welcome on the field. The coaches didn't make this rule. It was the boys. So as I watched Braden lie there not moving at all I struggled with the rule knowing I could bring disgrace if I broke it. He finally got up with the help of his coaches and our trusty trainer and sat on the bench for the rest of the game. I will admit that I did go down to check on him after half time. I just couldn't help it and decided to take the chance. I am glad I did! He was glad to see me. I asked if he wanted me to sit with him on the bench and he told me no to go sit back in the bleachers. So I did!

Braden was loopy as a lune and it took him two days to get back to "normal".

I was thinking about how this experience relates to life. Sometimes we get blind sided, while living our day to day lives, by crazy unexpected situations and it completely knocks us for a loop. We wander around for a couple of days saying and doing things that don't make sense and suffering from a severe headache. Then we lace up our cleats, strap on our helmets, buckle up our shoulder pads, and hit the turf again!

I am so grateful that Braden is alright! I am also very proud of him for getting back out there and making a difference for himself and his team. He does that on and off the football field. He amazes me!

So now it's time to gear up and go for it! Go, go, go!!!!

Leesey Lou

Birthdays!

My grandson turns 1 today! How is that even possible?!

Time is a strange thing. One week ago today I sent my oldest son Tylan to Oklahoma City to serve a mission. We were able to go to the airport with him this time because he had already finished his training at the Missionary Training Center when he was sent home for knee surgery. He was home with us 2 1/2 months recovering and discovering, learning and growing both physically and spiritually. His relationship with us improved especially with Braden who is just younger than him. His faith was tried and tested. He continued to get up in the morning early to read scriptures, ponder, and pray. The two and an half months flew by!

Then "time" did a cruel thing. This last week, since putting Tylan on the plane, has been the slowest week of my life! It has been torture not knowing where in Oklahoma Ty is, or who he is with. Wondering if he is happy and loving life or if he is sad and lonesome, have been constantly on my mind.

The wait is over! We received an e-mail from him today and all is well! He loves his companion and he is serving in Oklahoma City in the projects! I didn't know Oklahoma City has "projects". All cities do I suppose. So now "time" can march on again but hopefully not too fast.

So where did the year go since the birth of our sweet Jackson? He is such a wonderful little boy! He is so full of love and joy and happiness! I guess time flies when you are having fun and we have had a blast with Jackson! So we will party with him today and celebrate him!

I guess it is all about taking the "time" to enjoy the journey because "time" moves on whether we pay any attention to it or not! Enjoy!

Bye for now,
Leesey Lou

My Husband and Edgar Degas

My birthday was one of the most incredible days I have had in a long time and that is saying a lot because I have some pretty incredible days!!!

The thing that made it so impressive to me is the gifts my husband gave me.

I am an art lover. I like to think of myself as an amateur connoisseur of art and love to go into art galleries and museums. I cannot express the way I feel while looking at art. Looking at a piece of art by Renoir or Manet fills my mind with wonder, "Where, who, how?" are questions that come to mind. Where did their inspiration come from.

There is however, one artist who completely draws me in! Edgar Degas is my absolute favorite, not because of what he chose to paint and sculpt, but the movements I see in his art is unfinished. It's like looking at a dancer who has just finished a move or is about to move on to the next. He most often focuses on one small detail of his paintings making it crisp and clean while the rest of the picture is clouded and raw. He painted in movement and he sculpted that way too!

My husband surprised me with two pieces by Degas! They are reproductions, of course, but I am thrilled! My favorite sculpture of all time "The little fourteen year old dancer" was one of the pieces and a painting called "Dancers in repose". I have to say I was so elated that I cried!!!

The thing that made my birthday so special was not the incredible gifts but the thought, and effort my husband and oldest daughter put into making sure I had something that would rock my world! Art doesn't mean much to them. But I do!

Leesey Lou

What A Day!

Remember how I said I wanted to take up painting in my first blog? Well today that took on a different twist than I expected.

I work in a little store that sells a little bit of a lot of different things! We have home decor, some furniture, hardware, garden supplies, kitchen wares, fishing gear, keys and paint. One of my favorite things to do is mix paint.

It astounds me that you can take a little black, some deep yellow, and a smidge of violet mixed in a 5 gallon bucket of base 1 white paint and come up with a color called "Antique White" which is a creamy tan color! How does that work? Or take a gallon of paint and put some green, black and a little of the deep yellow and get a color called "Caribbean Celebration" which is the color of the ocean sweeping up onto white sandy beaches so I've been told. LOL Something I will experience one day!

Today I mixed a color called Florida Gold. It is an orange-ish color, bright and cheerful! I was excited! I love mixing colors that are different from "the norm". By the time I was finished I had the lovely Florida Gold splattered from the inside of the mixer to the legs of my black jeans and all over the floor! The lid had not sealed properly! Ugh! I had created a masterpiece!

I can't say that the rest of my day went better, it didn't. But I did get to paint! HA There is always more than one way to follow a dream!

Leesey Lou

What Is Stopping Me II

So I kind of rambled about several different subjects in my last blog and didn't really get to the meat and potatoes of what really stops me from accomplishing my dreams and developing those talents I want to have!

Honestly fear is a big barrier for me! I love this quote by Nelson Mandela;

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Doesn't the truth just resonate from this quote when you read it? I feel the power in this message every time I read it to the point that I am ready to conquer the world! It helps me remember who I really am and that I do have purpose, a purpose greater than I ever allowed myself to believe possible!

So what is stopping me? I can find a million things to take the place of valuable time and precious dreams. Life throws darts all at once and I, like a fool, run around trying to catch them afraid of getting poked! The sad part is that at the end of the day, when I have no more time or energy, most of the darts turn out to be those soft darts with foam tips and I was never in danger of being injured at all! Not much life threatening or so important that it couldn't have waited happens in a normal day. I look at my day and see that most of the things I do are good but, truly how mammoth are they in importance?!

Besides fear there is a measure of laziness involved as well! Let's be honest! When I am afraid of something, I don't want to face "IT". I want to turn away from "IT". So there "IT" is lurking behind me, tapping me continuously on the shoulder, reminding me that everything I want to do or have or be is painfully close. It is all within my grasp if I would only turn around and go through IT!

"IT" would take so much effort!" and "What would people think of "IT"?" are two show stoppers for me! So laziness, out of fear, keeps me closed and claustrophobic.

I am so tired of living my life afraid and now I am making a comittment to move through "IT"! I think I will start by reading the quote I began this blog with every morning and evening to remind myself that I can only help others by shining light instead of keeping darkness so close. I get to face my dreams and make them reality living my life to the absolute fullest in posibility!

I DO want to express myself through painting and writing. I DO want to be that "fun" mom that draws my childrens friends to my home! I want the energy to be organized, not crazy organized, just the kind of organization that makes it simple to find what I need! I want to live every day of my life with brilliance! Brilliant is my new favorite word, by the way. LOL

So here I go! Time to be make "IT" into "BRILLIANCE"!

It's Possible!

Leesey Lou

What Is Stopping Me?

I have wanted to write for oh so long and actually have written a couple of things! I spent an excruciating three years of my life writing and then rewriting and never feeling confidant that what I was saying was interesting or informative. I wrote a book about relationships called "Kiss Your Frog" and a children's book titled "Do Bees Have Bellybuttons?" I sent "Do Bees Have Bellybuttons" in to a couple of publishers and was rejected. I have never even allowed anyone to read through "Kiss Your Frog". I was so devastated by the rejection that I have never tried publishing again.

So, I got this brilliant idea that I would blog every day and just say what was on my mind putting words to the activities and projects and lessons I am learning. The easy part is the writing. The hard part is clicking on the "PUBLISH POST" button on this page!

I realize that pushing "that button" I am opening myself to millions of different opinions and personalities which I think will be a difficult and yet incredible experience for me personally.

A little about me: I am a 43 year old married woman with five children, a son-in-law and a grandson. I have many interests. I love music, reading, writing, cooking, baking, painting, and the ocean although I live nowhere near an ocean. There is just something about the ocean that fills my whole being with peace and wonder.

A perfect day for me would be sitting in a beach chair with an umbrella for shade and a wonderful book, open pages lying across my lap. A gentle breeze coming in from the ocean. The sound of the waves breaking on the sand and sea birds whispering in their high pitched calls from a distance reminding me that I am living in that moment. That is where I go when I need a little reprieve from the happy, frustrating, beautiful chaos that is my life, which I love, by the way.

The first thing I am going to attempt as I share my adventures with all of you will be oil painting! I have created one painting so far but I really have no idea what I am doing and although my painting turned out alright I have so much to learn! My greatest stumbling block is FEAR! But, because I have a great desire to conquer this fear I am going to share in all glory and failure my journey with you.

We can journey together!

Leesey Lou